Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
