This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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