Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
