literally had 100 drinks last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
4 words: hood of his car
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is classic penis vs brain.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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