i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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