It's Friday. Sex?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
