So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
