Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
