I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
two words...techno handjob
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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