Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
