Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
