dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
