MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
