I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
