He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
