At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
