3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
