well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
