ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
