Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
