The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
