well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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