the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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