he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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