So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
