guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
