how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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