My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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