I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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