I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
