And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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