3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
