dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
