is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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