Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I didn't notice because vodka
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
