I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
