afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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