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ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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