Dual....:-)
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
