did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
