how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
