I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
