His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
