does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
