I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
