every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
