He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
