I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
