She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Operation Purity has been aborted
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
