brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
