the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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